They ride on silver moonbeams and shoot Britney Spears out their ass
Becky: Okay so I’m feeling a little… erm “squicked” out right now because this next IP is beyond words. Really, I don’t know what to say about it. Other than I haven’t been this weirded out since Scandalous. Or maybe Natural Born Diva.
Sarai: I didn’t even know what squick meant before this, and I’m sort of regretting the entire thing now.
Becky: This chick is a shy, homoflexible (I’m assuming that means bisexual) who fantasizes about being eaten out by animals, and gets really wet when thinking about being spanked. Oh, and she likes to be tied down. Sarai, I’m shaking in my weave right now. Hold me?
Sarai: Did you just say homoflexible? * holds you *
I was too distracted by her sidebar, to be honest. She starts off introducing herself as ‘Llama’ (I never quite got that) and then very bluntly describes herself. She loves a lot of things, which is common, but this one’s a very special snowflake. She loves angels and faeries and most likely unicorns. She apparently hates Sebastian from The Little Mermaid, even though he’s a harmless cartoon no one cares about (Cassie, let it go, bb), and she also hates politics, which just pisses me off. How can you possibly hate politics? It’s only your future at stake here, no biggie.
Becky: Hey, I like Sebastian from The Little Mermaid, he’s so anal and uptight about everything (the perfect compliment to Ariel’s footloose and fancy free attitude).
Did you know she writes what I like to call “real fanfiction”? Personally I think that real fanfiction is rather disturbing. There’s something unsettling about taking real people and forcing them into situations that they wouldn’t be in, in real life. Writing about fictional characters is one thing, they don’t exist, they don’t breathe or have feelings so no one really cares. Real people on the other hand do. I haven’t been this freaked out since reading Cinco’s fanfiction. Here’s a quote from Dead or Alive:
The damp towel slipped from Jon’s shoulders as he sprawled along the back seat of the limo, leaning against Richie’s shoulder. He sighed heavily and Richie shifted position to wrap his arms around the singer.
“What’s up?” Richie asked, running his fingers through Jon’s loosely curling hair. Jon purred, relaxing against Richie.
Fuck around with fictional characters all you want, leave the real people alone. Who has that kind of time on their hands anyway?
Sarai: I agree. I find it rather insulting to the actual person. Can you imagine Jon Bon Jovi reading one of these things and how awkward that would be for him? Not to mention disgusting.
She also has a Hilary Duff fantasy, which well, strange doesn’t even begin to cover it:
Hilary Duff dressed head-to-toe in a black skin-tight pvc catsuit, the material clinging to her oh so pert little ass. Her ankles encased in black stilettos. A whip held lightly in one hand. Me naked, arms bound behind me, bending supplicant to kiss her feet, her hand tight in my hair – her willing slave.
Becky: Please don’t brin- you brought it up. Thanks. Appreciate it.
Sarai: I mean, I love Hilary Duff, she’s one of my guilty pleasures but I never want to picture her with a whip, tying someone up, and making them her “willing slave”. It’s just not. right.
Becky: It’s wrong. Just wrong. I mean we all have fantasies about kidnapping, oh say, Spike or House and tying them up in our closests. But not in detail! Never in detail, that would require medication.
Sarai: No, no we don’t. We don’t hide people in our closets, Becky. We just don’t, man.
Becky: Okay so that’s just me then? Disregard please.
Sarai: Can we talk about her About page? And her Favorites, more specifically? Actually no. Let’s backtrack to her “Basics”, where she lists EVERYTHING SHE LOVES UNDER THE SUN.
Becky: Do we have to? I don’t think we have that kind of time.
It would’ve been easier to write, “Loves: Everything.”
Sarai: Jesus Christ, who sits there and thinks of that many things?!
Becky: Someone who fantasizes about having animals eat her out?
Sarai: Aliens, faeries, open minds, massage, the moon, polka dots, sparkles, spanking, werewolves, I mean. I could go on, but I’m tired of reading already.
Becky: Loyalty, lust, myths and legends. It’s just a little on the excessive side.
Sarai: What visitor would seriously sit there and read all of those? And if visitors don’t read them, what is the point of typing it all out to begin with?
Becky: I think we all sat there trying to come up with 100 random facts for our 100 random facts page, but it’s 2008 and she’s 26. I think it’s time to grow up.
Sarai: 26, what?!
Becky: Yes, she’s 26 years old. Oh look, one of her favourites is “getting mail”. Oh lol, just lol.
Sarai: What 26 year old seriously loves werewolves and fairies? I’m just wondering.
Becky: One that is really screwed up.
I’m a little under 5’3 and weigh approximately 170lb. Which technically makes me ‘obese’ but I really don’t give a fuck. How can I be ‘fat’ when all my clothes fit me. Truth be told, I hate skinny women. Nothing grosses me out more than the majority of ‘slim’ women, all hard angles and bony – its just gross. Women are supposed to have shape, are supposed to be curvaceous. And with a 36G bust you bet your life I’m curvaceous; I have shape, I have a figure – I have boobs, a waist and hips. And I love it.
Sarai: How can you hate skinny women? If that’s how they are naturally? I’m tired of asking so many questions :(
Becky: Please note that I am about the same height and ten pounds lighter than this walking freak show. You’re fat. Accept it. Take the twinkie out of your mouth and hop on the treadmill. She probably hates them because she won’t (or can’t) lose the weight.
Sarai: I’m all for expressing yourself, being unique, etc. I really am. But this is just too much information. “Excessive” is the recurring theme here, and unfortunately it’s too much of a bad thing.
Becky: And what of the women that are naturally skinny? Is there something really wrong with them simply because nature didn’t make them obese? No. So don’t ask for acceptance, and I bet she loves acceptance, for yourself when you’re unwilling to do the same for others.
“and if you don’t like me, I really don’t care!”
Good. Can we move on to Fetishes?
Sarai: Do we have to? :-(
Becky: I think we should, for the good of the people. Caution, if you don’t like really disturbing images then please look away.
Sarai: We’re not kidding this time. Let’s start with the bondage.
Becky: Really not kidding. This is about as serious as we get.
Sarai: Now I just want to say that I know people who have fetishes, and I know it’s more common than people like to admit. That said, I don’t post about it on a public website. And neither would anyone else, unless it was a Fetishez R Us forum or a little Bondage Lovers Anonymous group session.
Becky: I’m all for people being open about their sexuality and so forth, but there’s a line you don’t cross and she crossed it. Too. Much. Information.
Sarai: Too Much Excessive Information* I agree.
Becky: I, the average visitor, don’t want to know what makes you wet because I have no interest in your pussy. If I did, or if I had the same fetishes, I might, but as it stands, I doubt this is something you should share with other people. And really what it comes down to is that it’s class vs. trash just like with Jenn. There is a classy, informative way to present something that may or may not be TMEI and this most certainly is not a classy, informative way to present it. It just comes off as completely trashy and mildly disturbing.
Sarai: I couldn’t have said it better myself. I have no interest in anyone’s fetishes or fantasies, unless they’re interesting (and cats eating out someone’s pussy is not). Now if she had just made a little list about it, I’d be more than fine with it, but it’s a major part of her content (she dedicates an entire page to it and mentions it more than once on her website). I’m forced to either sit there and take it, or leave, which is what I would’ve done once I took a gander at her About page and saw how ridiculous she was.
however I’m positioned, just let my ass take it; hand spanking, paddles, floggers, whips.
For fuck’s sake. Does she really have to go into that much detail? What is the point of it all? Can’t we take it to some fetish community on Livejournal? Spare us, for the love of god.
Becky: I think she’s probably going for the shock value. She probably likes the reaction she gets from acting without class.
Sarai: Or maybe she really thinks this is appropriate and/or normal?
Becky: I certainly hope not because it shows a lack of the most basic manners.
Bestiality
Not full bestiality mind – I totally don’t want an animal cock inside of me, but the idea of a rough animal tongue on the other hand I find to be incredibly erotic. Its a fantasy totally inspired by Beauty’s Punishment by Anne Rice. There’s this one scene where Beauty is strapped down to a table and has like cream poured over her to attract a cat that then licks her all over to orgasm. It both grosses me out but completely and utterly turns me on beyond belief.
This is the one that disturbs me the most and really set the tone for me for the rest of her site. I do not condone animal abuse, and that is what it is, in any way. Ever. I don’t care how much it turns you on, if you think about it you’re a sick fucker. There is no justifying forcing an animal to bring you to orgasm.
Sarai: That’s just not right man :-(
Becky: The beastality discussion is continued under the heading “Squicks”, so she’s not completely depraved.
Bestiality
The idea of being pinned down beneath an animal while it thrusts its cock into me, really really grosses me out. It’s just something that not appeals to me, nor can I really understand why it does to other people. Its just… disgusting and, well, icky!
That would be her only saving grace.
Sarai: Well thank god for that. It’s still too much information. How would you navigate to the hompage from a subpage?
Her opinions page has several controversial topics with a short paragraph under them. In my opinion, this isn’t the way to go about writing your thoughts on a particular subject. I believe opinions must be based on facts or an overall understand of a subject and its history — not just explaining your thoughts in a short paragraph is enough.
Becky: First off abortion is not murder, at least that’s not how the law sees it (under certain circumstances). If you’re old enough to be fantasizing about Hilary Duff then you’re old enough to be fucking researching your opinions. It’s all good and fine to sit there and shout your opinions out, but if you don’t have facts backing you up then you look like an uneducated jackass who needs to STFD.
“Now, in a complete contradiction to my opinions on murder, I am actually pro death penalty. No, I don’t know why exactly either, I can only try to verbalise it.”
If you don’t know why you think something, then why are you thinking it?
Sarai: I just wish she’d practice some self-restraint. And I know some people will think, “But it’s her website!” And yeah, to an extent I agree, but this is a public personal website that caters to visitors. If it doesn’t cater to visitors, then there is no point for it to even exist. And I’ll debate that with anyone.
Becky: And I’ll have your back, Shanaynay. If she didn’t want to share her thoughts, opinions, and life with other people then she’d be writing in a notebook, not on a public website. She’s inviting public opinion on it, so therefore she must either cater to what we like seeing (as a majority) or face the fact that no one is going to agree with her uneducated opinions and freaky ass fantasies. Perhaps we should talk about her website?
Sarai: Exactly.
Becky: Like how her links don’t look different than her text until you hover (it’s like a “hide the links game”). Her background is fucking pukelicious and I’m scared to look at her CSS, even though she claims that it’s validated. Oh yeah, there’s a definite lack of padding, the brownish colour is gross and why the fuck is she using justified text? (link the subjectifying article) Gawd, as I thought her CSS is bloated and messy. I hate to see CSS being abused like that.
Sarai: Well it’s not her layout, Someone else made it.
Becky: Yes, but she chose it and it shows an astonishing lack of… well quite frankly I’m pretty sure she’s blind. Just to backtrack for a second, look at this gem on George Dubya: “He must, however, be doing something right, since he got re-elected.” She doesn’t like him, but figures he’s doing something right anyway.
Sarai: Yeah, that’s just fucked up. If you don’t know the pros and cons of a subject, don’t post your ignorant opinion on it, for fuck’s sake.
For a writer she sure misses a lot of necessary punctuation… like periods. You sort of need those.
Becky: She also forgets to include nifty things like question marks and exclamation points. She seems to like commas though. This one is getting a score of 0 simply because I found her site very distasteful and not overly entertaining.
So Sarai, wanna go and cut in the corner now, or do we have more to do?
Sarai: No I’m ready to go do some really deep thinking. And maybe pray for our generation, I don’t know.
Becky: I’m ready to go cry until I don’t have any fluid left in me. And maybe play some Cake Mania 2. And wait for House to come back (10 days).
Sarai: I’m going to go pet some cats. Do my good deed of the day. Cake Mania, what the hell?
Becky: Just stfu and go find some cats.
Sarai: Oh alright.
This site is so disturbing that right after I visited, I had to clear my browser’s history…
Lydia · Jan 20, 04:45 PM · · Permalink
O_O
Louise · Jan 20, 05:02 PM · · Permalink
First off, I’d like to say hello! I stumbled on your site via disastermb, and i have to say, this has been entertaining for the past half hour. You got yourself a daily visitor ;D
Secondly, I’m sooooooo disturbed right now with this chick. I was going to read more of your other entries, but I feel a huge need to take a very cold shower. Keep up the good work girls!
judy · Jan 20, 05:55 PM · · Permalink
At first i thought the title was entirely your (Becky and/or Sarai) doing… but why the HELL would someone name an entire website like that??
I’m not against bondage per se, and don’t think it’s necessarily a bad thing to have it on a public website. Just maybe have a warning somewhere: ZOMG THIS IS EXPLICIT AND GORY GTFO!!! Mm yep… that pretty much is enough.
As for having a website that doesn’t cater to visitors. Well, what about antisocial people who rebel against anything and everything? Should they just die? It’s her right to have such a website, sure I won’t like it, or visit her website… but then maybe she just wants to put it online. shrugs
All in all, my thoughts were mostly along the lines of “ewewewewew” Considering all the idiosyncrasies I’ve read and learned to accept, this is a pretty bad opinion.
That’s disgusting. Too much information… I feel so disgusted now- eww!
I must erase that website from my history right now.
Saya · Jan 22, 12:52 PM · · Permalink
There is more then one thing i’m completely fucking confused about. One of which is if she doesn’t like skinny women, then why is Britney Spears on her website? I wouldn’t neccessarily say she’s skin and bones but she sure in the fuck isn’t obese. Personally, if I had some kind of wierd animal fetish, I wouldn’t tell the entire world, it’s just plain embarassing. This is by far the oddest webmaster i’ve read about.
Theresa · Jan 23, 11:42 AM · · Permalink
Hello, I’m a first time viewer to this website.
Wow.. Just wow.. No words can describe how disturbing this girl is. The only thing I liked about her website was the color. I would have liked the Britney Spears graphic, but the middle picture doesn’t look right—almost evil. The website background does resemble puke and becomes distracting to the point where it makes me dizzy. I think she has too much time on her hand to write up every single thing she likes, and while I was reading it, it seems to me as if she is trying to seek attention from others on the internet. I don’t like the fact that she didn’t have a link to return back to her blog.
The first word I thought when I saw this girl’s picture was “demented” because she has this evil smile on her face; I assume it would be from lack of social contact that she is unable to present herself in an appropriate manner. She needs to grow up.
I agree that she has TOO much information posted up..Frankly, I don’t think she has any skeletons in her closet or anything to hide since she… well she just revealed everything about herself. If she does have more things than just THOSE, god have mercy on us all. I think she does have the right to post “excessive” information, but it would be helpful to be courteous and warn the visitors that don’t like reading those ‘information’.
I feel sorry for her because when she described herself, she sounds like someone who people pick on, and maybe she lacks friends? Oh well, she set herself up for bad reviews for posting those stuff on her website.
You girls are doing a great job. I’m definitely adding this to my bookmarks and coming back. - Internet Police, go get ‘em! xP
Marie · Jan 24, 03:41 PM · · Permalink
Oh. Shit. Okay, you have fetishes. Do you really need to tell us that? I want to cry now. That’s disturbing.
Raynie · Jan 24, 08:42 PM · · Permalink
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Although you came up with about 1800 of them, there are no words for this website.
Honestly, WHAT. THE. FUCK?
Nellie · Jan 19, 07:45 PM · · Permalink