Swimchick & Outspoken Kate
Becky: Okay, I admit it for five minutes (yes it was five, I counted) I believed that she had really closed her site. Thankfully I’m smarter than a farting orangutan and remembered it was Aprils Fools day. Her other visitors… well they weren’t so lucky.
Sarai: I’m not a regular visitor, so I didn’t really notice? But, more importantly, a farting orangutan?
Becky: I stole that from Homer Simpson, he’s really a genius.
Sarai: I don’t get what’s the big deal with this chick. I really don’t. Her layout looks like it was from 2003.
Becky: Neither do I, but when you’re catering to a group of retarded farting orangutan’s… well you get to be really popular. Please, at least 2001.
Sarai: Why the hell did she slice up her images?! It doesn’t make any difference.
Becky: Actually it doesn’t, you see because each image is [insert something intelligent here later, Becky the page load time is increased! She has just been visiting PixelFX.org, that’s all.
Sarai: Okay, I’ve had enough of this PixelFX bullshit. There’s no excuse not to look at other tutorial sites. Can we talk about this line-height? I mean, it must be set at like 300%.
Becky: 23px, actually. It’s about the same as the line height I have on my own site (babblative.com), and yet I’ve had no complaints from visitors about my site (babblative.com) being hard to read.
Sarai: I wonder why… There is a correlation between line-height and font-size. Maybe that’s why? This whole table css she has… it’s been used for the past 37 versions amirite?
Becky: Actually I think that it’s because she doesn’t know what a paragraph tag is…
ahahaha. I swear I’m good.
Anyway
Sarai: Everything is in a <div> Separately. Omg let’s play Count the <br> Tags!
Becky: No, no, let’s play count the XHTML <br/> tags and then let’s play count the HTML
tags! I guess Jessica should have opted for the better package when she paid someone else to validate her site.
Sarai: You know it’s funny you should say that, because she has… oh, 59 errors? I wonder how much she paid?
Becky: Probably not much since she’s begging for money.
Sarai: In her About Me, the has a special section on being Arab? I don’t see the point of that entire section, tbh. Unless she’s educating her readers, which would mean this would go under Visitor.
Becky: “I respect your religion so please respect mine.” But I don’t have a religion! Methinks that she needs to rewrite that so it’ll make a little more sense.
Sarai: I wonder why this isn’t tucked away as a subpage.
Becky: Actually I think she likes pointing out that she’s Arab, in a previous blog I skimmed the other day I noted that she referred to reformatting your computer as “rebooting” your computer, and in parenthesis she put (yes I’m an Arab).
Sarai: Wait, what?!
Becky: Or something like that, I could barely understand what she was writing so I moved on to stalking better people.
Sarai: Under her about me she has this little Pictures section and she says, “ Before you click the link..I’m going to make it clear that I do not care if you think I’m amazingly gorgeous, or just revolting. It doesn’t make a difference to me. I like myself for who I am, and no one can ever change that.” lol.
Becky: That translates to: Tell me I’m pretty.
Sarai: Pretty much. Let’s move on to the Visitor section!
Becky: “All these icons were made by me. They are not to be redistributed in any way or edited from their original form.” Yeah, because I LOVE PINK, is so totally original and copyright to you.
Sarai: Those are… pretty stupid.
Becky: Is it just me or do most of her brushes look the same?
Sarai: I was trying to think of a better word, but nah. It’s probably the same image, just different selections.
Becky: Oh look, she redistributes other peoples fonts, and not a credit link in site!
Sarai: Omg there’s like 10 paint spatter ones… 9 pages?! Are you kidding me?! This trend is still going on?! I’m not surprised about the font thing.
Becky: At least it’s not curly sparkles… Oh look, stock photos. Who wants to bet me 5 bucks that she took them with her parents digital camera, the one they break out on Christmas and paid $100 bucks for (like my parents). I suppose she thinks she’s a “reel photogropher” * snickers *
One of her stock photos is a supplement facts information label. It’s upside down and on an angle, she needs a better scanner.
Sarai: That’s very artistic of her. I don’t get how ‘aim icons’ are under downloads, but ‘msn icons’ are under Graphics. Just wtf.
Becky: Well if you don’t see why then I’m certainly not going to tell you! Mostly because I don’t know either…
Sarai: On to the tutorials… Wow. Someone has time on their hands!
Becky: Okay, all right, deep breath Sarai, you’ll never believe this. Not in a million years! Nope, you will NEVER believe what I’m about to tell you, but it’s true, I swear it.
Sarai: Omg Becky, what?
Becky: Angel Effect, Beginning Blending, Blending different bg pics, blending effects, bordered text and the like… She stole them from me!
Sarai: OUTRAGEOUS!
Becky: I know she did because around 2001-2005 I had those tutorials on my site! She started her site in 2005, you just know that she totally ripped me off. Excuse me, I’m going to call the internet police.
Sarai: Becky, calm down, we all know you took them from pixelfx anyway..
Becky: Hi, Internet Police? Yeah this is Becky, Jessica of swimchick.net stole my tutorials.
Becky: Aww really, Becky? That’s harsh, want us to make fun of her?
Becky: Sure! You got it dollface
Sarai: Oh my god. The disclaimer page… I just saw it.
Becky: It’s actually better now than it was in September
Sarai: My favorite part is “Don’t forget you are a visitor/guest at my site.”
Becky: I would never forget that I am a visitor at her site because I would never make anything so vile and horrifying.
Sarai: So then those AIM icons are only for my use if I behave? Pity.
Becky: Well technically I think that they’re only for your use if you follow Jessica’s Law (worship at the alter of farting orangutan’s).
Sarai: Outspoken-Kate would never do something like that! Would she?
Becky: No! Kate is the picture of modesty and intelligence. Thread on DMB concerning her tutorials notwithstanding.
Sarai: Of course, of course. Speaking of tutorials, who needs so many tutorials on coloring effects? Like honestly.
Becky: Jess does! It’s so that when someone creates a tutorial on how to colour a picture blue, Jessica can wave her angry smiley flag around and cry “copyright, copyright” even though she used images that weren’t copyright to her.
Sarai: She does that??
Becky: Weren’t you there for the drama between Kate and Jess?
Sarai: I’m afraid I missed that.
Becky: Aw, poor baby. She writes for her school newspaper, eh?
Sarai: That top bar, where she puts in her headings… there’s just no contrast.
Becky: Black text on pink makes my insides melt, and not in a good way. I like how she has to style everything and change the colours. Whatever happened to loving default?
Sarai: I bet she thinks it’s boring.
Becky: When I clicked on “behind the name” it directed me to her index page. Could it be that even she doesn’t know why she came up with the name?
2. Your website must get over 1000 + unique hits a day to become an affiliate. If you are unsure about the number of hits you receive, try asking your host or try Web/FTP Stats in your local domain cpanel. (this is only if you own your own website)
Becky: So I can apply for affiliation even if I don’t have a site? Sweet! Wow, hover over the links in the image. Man that’s some sweet PSP’ing. I suppose she ran out of fonts to steal.
Sarai: Her layout is so bland and unoriginal… I seriously do not see the big deal.
Becky: Um, Sarai, is that Marilyn Monroe on her layout?
Sarai: Uh… With clothes on?
Becky: Circle brushes can be found here. Pictures of Marilyn Monroe here. (other credits will be added) squints
Sarai: Why not use your own brushes?
Becky: Because they all look the same!
Sarai: Since you make so much of them. Her links don’t stand out from the rest of the test. That’s one of my biggest pet peeves. 29 PEOPLE ONLINE?! ARE YOU SHITTING ME.
Becky: Clicky
Sarai: There are those brushes again. Damn brushes.
Becky: I am so totally gonna Photoshop the hell out of that and use it on my site. Because I can get rid of those watermarks, I totally can and then I can totally, like use it.
Sarai: It’s the same thing over and over. I wonder if Kate uses as many brushes… KATE’S HEADER. Becky OMG. MAKE IT STOP.
Becky: I don’t think it ever stops, it’s like totally, like the neverending, like, header. Black on white text tsk tsk tsk
Sarai: I’m using a 1440×900 screen resolution. And it takes up my whole screen. Check out the sweet erasing skillz.
Becky: Online: 25 That’s sad.
Sarai: Yeah, I’ve lost all faith in the e-community. I don’t even care anymore.
Becky: Now I don’t know who did what first, but someone has been copying the other person. And I’m willing to bet that they copy off of each other.
Sarai: Woah, those are some serious detective skills there, Becky.
Becky: *Detective Becky, please. Wow, she offers colour schemes.
Sarai: Well they have the same headin— What?!
Becky: Well at least Kate offers some variety in her brushes. Top to bottom: Crappy > Crappier. Whereas Jessica’s are just Craptastic.
Sarai: Out of all their tutorials… maybe 5 are actually useful.
Becky: Layout Tips!
Sarai: You beat me to it.
Becky:
Alright, color is important in a layout. A contrast should always happen. Don’t just use one color. If you do end up using one color, use different shades of it.
Spoken like a true orangutan.
The background should be nice and should draw attention to itself AFTER the attention of the main image
Wow, I’m so totally going to revamp my site!
first of all, if you really want to stand out from the crowd, you’ll need to invest some time into finding brushes no one else has. You can search google or go on random sites to find links. If you chose to do this,
I’m tearing up, she’s so wonderful. I take back what I said about Kate being the smarter of the two. They’re both equally retarded.
Sarai: A contrast should always happen?!
Becky: I am so done with this, I’ve lost more than enough brain cells and if Kate wants to read more about herself she can just replace her name with Jessica’s. Over and out.
Sarai: Don’t leave me here! Come back, we can help them!
Becky: No we can’t! They’re too busy with their heads up each others asses that no one, not even House, could help them.
Sarai: What does House have anything to do with it?! Crazy fan girl.
Becky: He’d so totally perform a lobotmy on those two!
Sarai: And save the day.
Becky: And maybe hit them with his cane.
Sarai: He’s so hawt while he does it though. I’ll bring him human sacrifices, just to see him beat them with his stick.
Becky: Totally, he may be old but I’d do him any day. And I thought I was the weird one…
Sarai: C’mon, Becky, don’t judge. :(
That took me a while to read um.. but even though I agree with you guys about the brushes thing. I really think it is wrong to..criticize a person or a site.. her site is very popular.. and I really don’t see a point in writing bad stuff about it you know. I mean to me..it just sounds like you can’t handle that she’s so popular. If you hate her site so much.. just don’t go on it.. its that simple..I’m not trying to be mean just..stating the facts .
Anusha · Apr 24, 09:07 PM · · Permalink
Wow…and how much time did you spend on this?
If your so damn “tired” of the e-community, why dont you go outside and get a little sunshine? Perhaps it’ll do you some good, give you a little oxygen to the brain, you know?
As far as I can see, your just a bunch of emo lards who need to get laid…and get a social for that fact and matter. Live a little wont you? :)
Monica · Jun 8, 10:07 PM · · Permalink
Those are very popular sites your are reviewing… and I’m VERY happy I found somebody that is brave enough to tell people that these people are using bad coding, yuck.
You guys rock. And for the people that don’t understand and reading this right now, I repeat, they use very bad coding. ;)
Yet, more and more pages about people you secretly admire.
I feel bad for you guys, having so much time on your hands to type this shit. Honestly, have you even thought about how much effort goes in to graphic designing? Jessica [swimchick] and Kate [outspoken] are very talented people and unless you having realised they will always be better than you guys.
Yet, you talk about imperfection. Have you anything better to do then mope around and bitch about other people who happen to be more popular than you.
“If your so damn “tired” of the e-community, why dont you go outside and get a little sunshine? Perhaps it’ll do you some good, give you a little oxygen to the brain, you know?”
Amanda · Aug 22, 03:18 PM · · Permalink
Do you even OWN a graphics program other than MS Paint?
You criticise other people’s layouts, saying you can’t even call them
layouts, but I don’t exactly see YOUR amazing layout making
people fall of their chairs. Try creating an actual LAYOUT before
you go out and bitch about others’.
Love · Aug 31, 02:55 PM · · Permalink
There’s something I want to tell you about. It’s called a MISTAKE. Or an ACCIDENT. You may have heard of them; human beings make them?
Oh, sorry. You’re not humans. My bad.
“an undesirable or unfortunate happening that occurs unintentionally and usually results in harm, injury, damage, or loss; casualty; mishap: automobile accidents.”
Hannah · Sep 1, 01:46 PM · · Permalink
Oh this was lots of fun….
I hate when people think that if your layout doesn’t have a gazillion pictures stacked together and tiny fonts no one can read, then it is not a layout…
Arwen · Oct 7, 11:11 AM · · Permalink
Comments are closed on this post (and most other older posts). If you'd still like to discuss this then please feel free to drop us a line using the contact form.
Apparently it was an April’s Fool joke, because they wanted to see how it would “effect” (in Kate’s words)visitors. I’m not sure what the verb to effect means (if there is one)...
Anyway, when I read that the background had to “draw attention to itself” I lost all hope. Whatever happened to the content drawing attention?
Oh and please, PLEASE tell me you were joking about googling brushes (incidentally WHY brushes? Why not avatars or layouts… or… anything else??) You made that up, right? RIGHT?!
Someone please tell me why I only get around 40 unique hits a day and these girls get over 1000. I want a recipe.
Vera · Apr 3, 01:33 PM · · Permalink