Naked Barbies
Becky: Nothing goes better than a moose, some hearts and a robot mixed with a healthy dose of camwhore and really bad colours. Why hasn’t this site been featured on a CSS gallery? And she’s saying that a new layout is coming soon… so what, no moose?
I love that little guy! My grandma hit one with her car once, she’s not really supposed to be driving. Wait, maybe that was a deer. We aren’t really sure because Grandma is kind of blind
Sarai: It seems the robot has some pretty human legs and… toys? Idgi, Becky. She must have been, after a glimpse of this monstrosity.
Becky: Wait, is that a deer on the layout? Okay, now I’m just confused.
2 online, what a site this fab doesn’t get more visitors? Maybe it was the lack of moose that scared away potential visitors?
Sarai: Only two? Those attractive, and dare I say sexy?, images flashing on the top left must bring in more than that!
Becky: Lee-Lee, I’m going to call her that because it sounds like Pee-Pee, can rawk that “I’m a crack whore/gawth chick” look like it’s nobodies business! There’s not really much to this site, is there?
Sarai: I wonder what crack she was smoking when she thought up this color scheme?
Excuse me?! Not much! A MARQUEE message? I could go on for hours… Not to mention the fact this whole website is so 1999. The background repeats like it’s nobody’s business, and she has tables on her info pages!
Becky: I went to check out the CSS... AND THERE IS NONE! I shit you not, there isn’t any CSS.
Sarai: I feel like punching sum babies. Well, duh, Becky, CSS was not popular in 1999! If you saw the blog iframe code, you would have a heart attack.
Becky: Bu-but it’s not 1999 anymore, Sarai. It’s now 2007 and people in 2007 use CSS. I can’t believe this, it’s like finding a perfectly preserved body of a T-Rex in your backyard.
Sarai: <body bgcolor="#FFFFFF"><body text="#000000"><body link="FC120C"><body vlink="FC120C"><body alink="FC120C">
Poor <body> tag. It doesn’t deserve that abuse!
I wonder if she got all this from Lissa Explains. Oh… my… goodness. She CLOSED THE HTML TAG BEFORE PUTTING IN THE DOCTYPE. Where are those goddamn babies?! There are at LEAST 5 uses of the <body> tag. She has all these div’s like it’s one big <div> party, but the page could have easily been made using a table. Yes, I said table. A table is better than this ridiculous shit.
Becky: Sarai, be honest with me, has this site been updated in the past 8 years?
Sarai: Well it’s hard to say, Becky… But I’m going to have to go with “hell no”. There is just no other logical explanation. Oh wait, yes there is. This person is a retard. She has <center> tags with nothing in them! Just what the hell is going on?!
Becky: The date on the last blog says Friday, March 16, 2007. Do you think that it was most likely a person who wanted to pretend to have some sort of time machine and appear really l33t?
Sarai: I say we hunt down said creator of this time machine and chop his nuts.
Becky: I’ve never seen that before, but you just don’t use the markup she uses in this day and age. Hello, the stone ages were a decade ago, get with the times girlfriend.
Sarai: And the cherry on top of this fantastic sundae? She never closes the <body> or the <html>. I hate to say it, but I wonder what this website looks like in Internet Explorer…
Becky: Crack Whores/Gawth Chicks can’t be bothered to close their HTML tags. Gawd and this is 1999, Firefox was only a dream and IE dominated the internets.
Sarai: Dare I say the website looks just as shit-tastic in IE? Maybe it’s the scrollbars… I can finally see what she was trying to do there.
Becky: Oh the completely blue scrollbars put everything in perspective. I wonder why the browser scrollbar isn’t coloured… SHE DOES USE CSS! Maybe there is ho— Oh wait, I spoke too soon. Check out the stylesheet, Sarai!
Sarai: Becky, what the hell do you think I have just been raving about?! Do you see the <body> tags? And the Doctype? Should I pass a big huge pencil so you can poke yourself in the eye? ‘Cause I will, you know.
Becky: I don’t see a Doctype… I see four body tags in the stylesheet though.
Sarai: Scroll down, sweetheart.
Becky: OH SNAP BITCH JUST DIDN’T!
Sarai: Oh she did, and we must suffer for it. Scroll down and notice the end of this lovely coding? It just… goes on forever, doesn’t it? Maybe it’ll carry onto the next subpage? Who knows, I just don’t understand this logic.
Becky: I didn’t know that they’d already come out with new HTML tags! I wonder what
Sarai: Oh I see it! I wonder why she carries on with the archives, then? I’m going to be brave and enter it into the validator… Well, there’s no Doctype found. Surprise surprise!
Becky: Oh Sarai, you shouldn’t be messing with that black magic voo-doo shit. Be careful!
Sarai: Becky, don’t worry, I had my full on i-net bullshit body armor. It helps in extreme cases, like these.
Becky: Ah man, she’s from Ontario. This is not what all Ontarions are like! Mostly they try to be as awesome as I am, but they fail really hard. This girl needs to get with it.
Sarai: Uh-huh, sure. I wouldn’t be surprised to see you making your own little flashing images showing off yer sexy self.
Becky: She’s getting a minor in Computer Science, now I’m not schooled or anything but wouldn’t that involve, oh I don’t know, using computers? And during the usage of computers, wouldn’t you at one point connect to the internet? If so then why isn’t she using the wealth of information at her fingertips and step out of 1999 and into 2007?
Sarai: It’s the moose, Becky. Maybe she’s scared of parting with it? She says there’s a new layout coming soon. Here’s to hoping.
Becky: I don’t know if it’s a moose, but I’m Canadian and so is she so I’m going to call it a moose. I don’t care if it’s a dear because Moose > Squi-I mean Deer.
Sarai: I would talk about content, but it’s all forgettable.
Becky: Oh that’s probably been up there since 2003 at least.
Sarai: Nothing substantial, and it’s all been done before. 2003?! You’re too kind! OMG BECKY. Lauren > Comics. Now.
Becky:
Hi, I’m Dano. I like to masturbate to images of children. Ohhh 13 year olds have such nice tummies and fluffy hair…
BABY PORN!
That is the sickest joke I’ve ever seen, I’m not joking, it’s not funny at all. She tried to sneak that whole Star Trek reference in too, what the hell is wrong with her? Bitch needs to get out of Communication and into How Not to be Funny for DUMMIES.
Sarai: I never knew this classified as COMICS? There’s only two, thank God. Weren’t you teaching that class just last semester?
Becky: OH I think that the comics are about people she hates. STILL NOT FUNNY! And yes I was Sarai.
Oh Sarai, do you think that maybe we could end up as comics? She says “MANY more coming soon. Fuck with me, and you’ll end up here too.”
Sarai: I see that as an invitation! Let’s finish this first, though.
Becky: What do you think our comic will be like?
Sarai: I think it should be titled “FUCK WITH US WE FUCK WIT YEW” And then have like, bad websites drawn into like these computer monitors? With CSS code as the language? Wait, that might be a little too geeky. Never mind. Let’s just draw boobs!
Becky: Does she even know CSS?
Sarai: Well, she tried?
Becky: We’ll probably get stinky fish dropping from our vayjayjays and kiddie porn on our computers.
Sarai: You say that like it’s not normal.
Becky: Trying doesn’t count for anything in this world! I tried to like her site, but it didn’t really work out. Sometimes you weird me out, Sarai. No more gas station shrimp for you.
Sarai: I’m just becoming soft, Becky.It’s nothing to do with shrimp! Although I would like some right now. Wanna come with?
Becky: Are you gonna spring for the $1.99 shrimp this time?
Sarai: HEY.
Becky: This girl is just so classy, man I have never seen a classier lady. I want to be just like her when I grow up.
Sarai: BECKY IF WE GET INTO THE GALLERIES WE’LL NEVER COME OUT ALIVE! :O
Becky: Okay fine, I give this site a D+ because Lee-Lee’s awful markup amused me for a while but nothing else captured my interest. It’s boring, she’s boring and the marquees weren’t marqueed to their full effect.
Sarai: I agree with this grade, and have nothing more to add except that I would love some shrimp right about now, and this girl should rot in e-hell.
Becky: I want cookies actually, but my mom won’t get out of bed and make me some! Selfish bitch.
Sarai: Yeah, what gives?
Becky: She’s a lazy selfish bitch who won’t make her little miracle (me) some cookies at 12:30 in the am.
Sarai: I hope she burns in e-hell along with naked bratz.
Becky: Me too Sarai, me too. Wait, don’t you mean Barbies?
Lol i found this.. amusing xD
Kendra · Apr 1, 03:14 AM · · Permalink
you guys are soo pathetic.
grow up · Apr 9, 07:54 PM · · Permalink
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Ugh… that just made me sick. Then again, one look at the layout and I should’ve known.
Though what’s with the repetitive styling of the body tag. Doesn’t she use any other tags??
Vera · Mar 18, 09:15 AM · · Permalink