Fuzzy Pink Slippers
Sarai: Becky, I have no idea where I am. Does that say Puzzypinkflippers?
Becky: Uh, no. Thank god for that too because otherwise I’d probably have a heart attack? And it’s not like I’m a prude.
Sarai: Someone went a little crazy on the contrast here. And the lasso tool. Dear god. Gave poor Keira a nose job. I wonder how she’d feel about that =/
Becky: Don’t worry Sarai, if you don’t like the theme then choose any of her other 40 some odd themes available! Literally, there’s 40+ themes.
Sarai: Christ. I think I’ll go with the Wordpress Default, thanks.
Becky: It makes it a bit more bearable to wade through all of this crap, and it is crap.
Sarai: Oh look, a Soundtrack of her Life. Well that sounds very promising!
“I Wanna Dance with Somebody” by Whitney Houston
Say… what?
Becky: Is it too late to back out of this?
Sarai: I can understand “Complicated” by Avril but — Becky, sit your ass down.
Becky: Piss off. Oh my god, I love Complicated. WHY’D YA HAFTA GO AND MAKE THINGS SO COMPLICATED?
Sarai: Oh look, advertising! Maybe we can arrange something to get more hits! A broader audience! New visitors! Why am I shouting?!
Becky: Why is she listing a few songs as the soundtrack to her life? I mean seriously, who the fuck cares? And you know what people care even less about? Giving your sorry ass money and things off your wishlist.
Sarai: FOUR DOLLARS A MONTH FOR A BUTTON? What in the actual fuck!?
Becky: Four dollars a month!? She is talking real money, right? Is that USD?
Sarai: Actually, 98% of this information could have either 1) gone under one page, or 2) been scrapped altogether to save us some time.
Becky: Dear lord, she has 1,119 items on her amazon wishlist.
Sarai: Oh for Christ sake.
Becky: Janet, no one wants to buy you anything. Stop trying, honestly just stop.
Sarai: I gotta admit, I was tempted to post my wishlist on here, see if anyone would be oh so kind as to contribute to the joy of my Christmas. (E-mail me if you’re interested!).
Becky: Do you provide a service to anyone? Are you someone who fought for a very noble cause (like getting the writers to stop striking)? No. So therefore you are undeserving of me spending my money on you.
Hell if anyone wants to buy me a real live Spike, I’m down.
Sarai: I mean, if she wants her e-friends to give her stuff, maybe she should just, talk to them? A random visitor won’t be inclined to just spend money on a stranger. (Unless it’s me, of course. E-mailing me is still on the table you guys!).
Sigh, the advertising page doesn’t work. I guess we’ll just have to eat shit and use the Plugboard.
Becky: Especially a person who doesn’t give them something in return, like free things for their websites.
Sarai: Sweet baby Jesus in a manger. Theme Previews omg. Why can’t these go on a page and cut the sidebar in half?! WHY PORQUE PORQUOI.
Becky: I have a question: Why is she incapable of using the wp_list_pages (or whatever the fuck it is) exclude pages feature? Honestly now, why the fuck wouldn’t you use it?
Sarai: Plugboard doesn’t work. Sigh, such is life. Check out all the stuff for us, Becky.
- Grandma’s Driving Experience
- Adam and Eve
- Bread Kills
- Earl and Bubba
- Quizzes
Man, I can’t wait to dig in.
Becky: I’m still scrolling through her never ending sidebar. This shit could give pinupdoll.nu a run for its money.
Sarai: This website loads so. incredibly. slow. I could take a shit, eat lunch, shower, come back, and I’d still be waiting for this page to show up.
Her opinions are a few short paragraphs long. Some don’t even load. Shame because that would be, you know, interesting content.
JESUS. WHY LIST EVERY SINGLE MONTH UNDER YOUR ARCHIVES SINCE THE BEGINNING OF TIME? Why not a few months and then a “View All” link!?
And man, I thought Brandy from lovestoned.nu had issues with Categories, but nope. She’s not alone.
Becky: Because it’s only cool if you bog down your visitors with high load times, plus she’s not too bright.
Sarai: She has 6 wishlists and 13 sites. This couldn’t go under Network? Her Listings couldn’t go under a links page?
Becky: No because then she’d have fewer pages. She needs all these pages because it looks like she has loads of time for loads of content.
Sarai: Why does she have an Archives page when they’re listed below? Why are we still here, Becky? I wanna go home. :-(
Becky: Bec- Actually I don’t have an answer for that. Sheer stupidity?
Sarai: Perhaps. Maybe we’re not as brave as I thought.
Becky: I tried to run before, you made me sit down.
Sarai: My mistake. I am not responsible for any damage, though.
Becky: Fuck you.
Sarai: Well she’s very open and honest about her mental issues. However, just because you have mental issues does not mean it defines you as a person.
Becky: Remember on DMB when she said she was going to discuss us with her therapist? So lulz. Well judging from the way she reacted to people telling her she should sit up straight on an LJ post, she probably doesn’t have a whole lot going for her.
Sarai: Her Spiritual Beliefs page brings the lulz.
- I believe people should follow the Golden Rule.
- I believe that we should respect the environment.
- I don’t believe in war.
- I don’t believe in drinking.
- I don’t believe in smoking.
- I don’t believe in doing drugs.
- I believe that there are mistakes in the Bible.
However, I do agree with some of these. Mostly this one: “I believe that everyone has a soulmate.” It’s true, you guys.
Becky: I definitely don’t want to meet that soulmate.
- I believe Eve has gotten too much of the blame for the Creation stuff. (I also think that Delilah got a bad rep for no good reason.)
That one, too. That damn Eve.
- “I believe that the “Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil” was actually a fig tree and not an apple one.”
What. The. Fuck. These aren’t all spiritual. Most of these are just things she believes in. We should make our own list, Becky.
1. I believe this world is riddled with assholes.
Becky: 2. I believe there are far too many stupid people in this world (something I will remedy when I become God and or Queen of the World).
Sarai: 3. I believe in cupcakes.
4. I believe once all of your affiliates are ‘dead’, you should get new ones.
Becky: 5. Some people should just gtfo the internet.
Sarai: That doesn’t start with ‘I believe’! GOD.
6. I believe Becky should start a sentence with ‘I believe’.
Becky: I’M SORRY, DON’T HAVE A PISSY FIT.
7. I believe that Sarai has a rather large LOG up her ass and that log is covered with burrs.
Sarai: 8. I believe in Santa. And burrs.
Becky: 9. I believe we’re stalling for time.
Sarai: 10. I believe this is lulzy, but we really must move on.
Becky: You ever notice that when she talks about fucking up that it’s never her fault. Like ever. Everyone else is just mean and horrible and she’s bloody perfect. An Angel sent down from above.
We went over our movie today in Film Production. People laughed at my acting, which was NOT bad. They laughed because I wouldn’t shut my mouth and breathe through my nose. I’m sorry, but I CANNOT breathe through my freakin’ nose. Then they gave me a hard time because I was squinting at one point. Well, if they had paid attention, they would have noticed that the sun was going directly into my eyes. Ugh! They really frustrated me.
Sarai: Wow, blameless much? It’s not me! It’s you! What a dickcake.
Becky: It’s always you, Sarai. I know she has a list of mental problems that she probably has and I know she’s kinda poor (welcome to my world last year, only minus the mental problems), but this chick whines way too much about everything. “I’m so poor, oh woe is me.” When I was broke, throughout most of my childhood AND last year when my father lost his job, I never blogged about it constantly.Not that I’m ashamed of it, I just don’t want to be thought of as an attention whoring ho.
Because that’s how she comes off to me, give me things and pat me on the back because I have troubles. Welcome to everybody’s life, dickfart. Do you think everyone wants to get up every morning and go work for the man? Hell no.
Sarai: I agree. Plus, what good would it do?
It’s clear she doesn’t see things the way we do. She’s stuck in her own little world, where it’s all about her. We all struggle with issues and situations that are out of our control. Some of us obviously handle it better than others. And some of us also use tact.
Becky: Exactly my point, what good does whining about your finances in this way do? It doesn’t do any good! It’s just trying to make people pity you so you can get attention, which I find to be sad. If I didn’t know better I’d swear she’s Amanda.
Sarai: Woah. Let’s not jump the gun here.
Becky: Pft I’m not saying she’s Amanda. I’m merely stating that I think she shares some of Amanda’s, er, lesser qualities. Namely she likes to get peoples attention and sometimes pity. Remember Amanda talking about how those damn Katrina victims were getting money and she wasn’t?
Sarai: LOL YES. Oh man, good times.
Becky: I miss Amanda, does she still do imandy?
Sarai: Hmm… She has a new layout on imandy.net.
Becky: Oh. Dear. Lord. Jesus. Christ. Save. Me. Nao.
Sarai: I’ll go next. Becky I don’t think— I just can’t— I need a cupcake.
Becky: I don’t think I can go on for much longer, I need water, WATERRRRR.
has NEVER gotten bad remarks until I got on the internet
Face Transplant
See the thing is, Janet, that people are more honest and open on the internet than they are in real life. They aren’t just out to get you because they’re really ugly, really fat and have really low self esteem.
Sarai: They’re just more people.
Becky: And why is she trying to justify herself to people online anyway? They’re just online, why post pictures or put yourself in situations where they can make fun of you for how you look? And if you must, then why blog about it and how you’re truly beautiful inspite of what those meanies say.
Sarai: Because it helps them feel better. Which is kind of interesting, since they put themselves in said position in the first place.
Becky: Right, and if they aren’t getting the validation they need so badly then why must they continue? Even my cousin figured out that he’d get shocked by sticking his finger in the plug outlet, so he stopped.
Sarai: I guess they’re just hoping someone, anyone, will say something nice. Which is pathetic.
Becky: I agree with that comment.
Sarai: BRB I’m going to take angle shots.
Becky: Of course you are. Okay I’m about done, I’m too scared to go any further into this website, really and truly scared.
Sarai: I’m still working on this cupcake. Should we tell them there’s a Secret Project in the works?
Oh wewpz.
Becky: Oh great you let the cat out of the bag. Way to go, dickfart.
Sarai: Listen muffincunt, I thought they should know okay.
Becky: What the fuck for? And don’t call me muffincunt you ass viking.
Sarai: So they could look forward to something other than sporadic updates you cootietang!
Becky: Listen, bumblefuck, we don’t need to share all our secrets with every Tom Dick and Harry that walks by! They might steal our ideas, do you want that to happen!?
Sarai: I JUST SAID IT WAS A SECRET PROJECT YOU DONKEY BONER.
Becky: YEAH BUT THEN THEY’RE GONNA WANNA KNOW MORE YOU THUNDER CUNT.
Sarai: OFFS FINE I TAKE IT BACK. WE ARE NOT DOING A SECRET PROJECT MADE OF AWESOME ALRIGHT?! SO IF YOU’LL EXCUSE ME I HAVE A CUPCAKE TO INHALE FUCK YOU BAI.
Becky: OH WHATEVER YOU CUMSLUT. FINE WE’RE DOING A SECRET PROJECT, ASK SARAI WHAT IT IS BECAUSE SHE’LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING, THE LOOSE-LIPPED FLOPPY DONKEY DICK.
Sarai: I REFUSE TO ADD TO THIS MUDSLINGING YOU SHITFACED LINT LICKER.
Becky: Yeah right, you’ll start spilling the beans as soon as my back is turned you cuntipede.
Sarai: Not true omg :-( I am loyal to the cause. This is really long, man. I hope you guys haven’t clicked out yet.
Becky: Oh who’re we kidding, THEY LOVE US!
Sarai:
THANK YOU FOR THIS.
I apologize for the all caps.
Alison · Dec 5, 12:29 PM · · Permalink