Clusterfuck
Becky: Welcome visitors of IP, except those of you who decided to stop participating without a word of warning in the IP Challenge. For shame, for shame. What kind of example is this setting for the rest of the internet? A bad one that’s what.
Sarai: Nah, they’re welcomed too. That way I can keep the prizes and we can keep the visitors.
Becky: I never thought of it that way! Okay, everyone is welcome, so long as they bring me treats. Chocolate is acceptable and if it’s orange chocolate all will be forgiven.
Sarai: Because we didn’t receive two of the submissions, we decided to close down the contest, and declare Jacky the winner, since she submitted a nice design. You can see that here. She got to choose a prize, and you’ll be seeing that within the coming weeks. And now for some little e-drama. Becky?
Becky: We offered her all our love originally, but she declined the offer. Don’t know why, we’re awesome. Then we offered her brownies, but Sarai ate them. Okay that was a lie, I ate them.
Ah yes, e-drama, the stuff that gets me out of bed and gives my life meaning. A few days ago I got a few hits from some twitter.com profiles. The profiles belong to Jhaye formerly of BitchyInPink, Alyssa who you may remember from Bobbi-lee’s phenomanal post about sidebars and such. Allie who was our very first IP post (Butter Cream Bitches, ya’ll) and some unknown named Terin.
Sarai: Allie<3 I gotta say, I loved their convos. Who knew you could use Twitter as an IM Chat?
Becky: They’re probably the first to do so, seeing as they’re brilliant, fyne azz wimmin who… aw fuck it. Who the hell uses Twitter as a fucking IM chat?
Sarai: Shoulda stuck to e-mail, ladies. Enough chit chat Becky, share the good stuff.
Alyssa: I’m browsing sites & saw that THIS http://tinyurl.com/3bonld is trying to play the role of miss internet bitch, wtf?! eek! slap that ho!
Why do females feel the need to play “bully” behind a comp screen when you can look & tell they’d run from a fight? A mess.
Sarai: “eek! slap that ho!” I’m sorry, what? Do I really have to continue? I was not aware there was a role of Miss Internet Bitch. Is there a process for that? I’m sorry, dat?
Becky: I’m just curious as to what they think they’re doing. Insulting the appearance and skin colour of someone they dislike… isn’t that bullying, too? Not that I actually give two shits, but isn’t that what they’re doing? Playing bully behind a computer screen? Practice what you preach, ladies.
Sarai: Um, yes. But good luck getting that point across.
Becky: Mmm, I suppose they use the age old “they hit me first” argument. If there was a Miss Internet Bitch pageant, who do you suppose would win, you or me?
Sarai: I don’t think either of us would. We’d be too busy kicking eachother backstage.
Becky: Holding each others weaves and all the while plotting how to show Miss Natural Born Diva who is really the Chocolate Marilyn Monroe.
Sarai: Who knows? Maybe one of these fine classy ladies would show up to teach us a lesson on Courtesy and Respekt. There’s more, isn’t there?
Becky: Courtesy? Respekt? You shouldn’t use such big words. Oh you’d better believe there’s more, bb.
Alyssa: Yeah I agree. It’s always those lonely miserable bitches. I read her bio she was home schooled, go figure.
Sarai: But yet you’re the one using correct spelling and grammar. I’m confused.
Becky: Don’t you get it? I’m a lonely, fat shut in with bad skin who goes to church every Sunday and prays to Jebus every night for my internal salvation (my insides need a lot of saving).
Sarai: I’ll take the wise road on this one and just take their word for it.
Jhaye: Lmfao she looks like she works for the jehovah witness. Is that that hoe who tried to call me
Becky: First of all I’d like to state that I am not a gardening tool. The word you’re looking for is ho. Not hoe. A hoe is a tool used in gardening. And secondly, we never called you?
Sarai: Wait, since when do people call eachother over e-drama? Can you imagine that call? “Hi yes, I’m just calling to find out why you stole my Lindsay Lohan graphic?!”
Becky: “BITCH YOU STOLE MY HTML AND CSS.”
“No I didn’t.”
“YES YOU DID.”
“No, I really didn’t.”
“I HAVE PROOF. I’M HOLDING screenshot29302582.jpg RIGHT NOW.”
I’m just trying to imagine an IP Call Centre.
“Hello IP Call Centre, how may I help you?”
“BITCH DID YOU PHONE FYNEAZZ95 AND TELL HER THAT HER SITE AIN’T VALID?”
“Let me look through my records. Hmm, sorry I’m going to have to refer you down to Nancy in records.
Sarai: “I DON’T SEE NO CREDIT LINK ANYWHERE WTF?!”
I’d love it.
Becky:
We should like totally have a convo on their sites & post it on ours. OH MY GOSH! lol
I’d like to see this convo posted on their site. That one from CandyBee or whatever it was called left a lot to be desired. It can be summed up in a few words: Mean. Bitches. Hatin’. Poop.
Sarai: Yeah I was a bit let down, but I mean, I just hope they write it in a way I can understand. That’s all I ask folks. If you’re going to insult us, do it right.
Becky: None of this Jehovah Witness Cracker bullshit. We want a real honest unreview [sic] of our sites. “Ehem, I’d be honored to mollywop that BITCH!! ;]” Sarai, what’s a mollywop?
Sarai: Do we really want to know? I mean, really?
Becky: Probably not.
Sarai: I still remember from back when I found out what it meant to “lay pipe”. Scarred. For life. Really don’t want to go back there.
Becky: God I was so much happier before I heard of a nigger1 who could lay pipe like a champ. In the ass, in the pussy, in whatever orifice you desire.
Sarai: For fuck’s sake, Becky.
Becky: You brought it up.
Sarai: Whatever. Please continue.
Becky: Actually that about does it for their conversation. At least that’s all the interesting bits. You can read the full conversation here. Shall we move on?
Okay the next order of business is Cassie. As you may know I reviewed her recently and she didn’t take it very well.
Anyways, about this whole Becky thing. I’m just going to let it die down, I don’t want to start a massive e-bashing thing here. But, as a human its a basic strive to defend myself, so I will say this: Your pathetic if you think your trying to help me, because doing THAT is not help. Stop tying to controll the internet, bub. Not every site needs to be perfected you your liking.
Untitled.
My pathetic wut? English, speak it. I’m pathetic because I think explaining to you why you need a DOCTYPE is help? Isn’t that help? I thought it was help, in fact I’m pretty damn sure that it’s help. I could be wrong, though, maybe it isn’t help. In your definition what is help? I suppose it’s anything that kisses your everlovin’ emo ass and congratulates you for a job badly done.
Sarai: Maybe ask her commenter’s, who are just brimming with helpful advice. And since when do you control the internet? You never told me. >:|
Becky: Fuck I wish I did control the internet. I’d bring back Natural Born Diva, make Allie finish Butter Cream Bitches and revoke Mallory’s pass to the internet.
Sarai: BRB Finding out for you.
Becky: And, bb you’d be the first to know.
Sarai: I better be. I’d want to be your #2.
Becky: You’d be my co-#1.
Sarai: And Cassie and Mallory could be our servants. They can sleep next to the Philipinos under my bed.
Becky: And summer with the Mexicans under mine. We’d have to put shock collars on them so they’d stay away from our hot pool boys, butlers and man-maids. Mmm, man-maids.
Sarai: Should we wrap this up so I can go work on said fantasy?
Becky: Huh, what? Sorry, I was in fantasyland already.
Sarai: Let’s go do interview for hot pool boys.
Becky: I wonder if Spike is looking for a job….
1 That was a quote of sorts from MissResha of Scandelous.
Comments
Lol Since when does being homeschooled mean that one is a Jehovahs Witness? I’m confused. I love your commentary Becky and Sarai I cracked up on the Chocolate Marilyn Monroe part :).
@Raina: School kids do that it’s a playground mentality they seem to endow.
Well if we’re picking at lives people live here (their side), Jhaye never really possessed any class.
I want to see the res of the entries, though of course Jacky’s is lovely (despite me not being particularly fond of the background… well OK it IS for kids).
Oh Terin, I know her. She’s the one who said that Cassie’s layout is “way better” than mine(see Becky’s review). Now please excuse me while I wallow in despair. See, I’m in the middle (well start really) of redesign for my layout… and just now I find out that original stuff is a no-go. Celebrities FTW! Dang!
As for the rest: R-O-F-L-M-A-O. I literally laughed out loud at the idea of being called over e-drama. Hehe, I know someone who’d have loved to call me, over some. ;-)
Wow, Jacky’s design was so nice :O!
LOL @ at the drama. It was quite rude of them to make fun of the way Becky looks. I think she’s pretty :)
And that part about calling people about edrama was hilarious xD
Annie · Mar 31, 03:31 PM · · Permalink
:-) Spelling error. F-i-l-i-p-i-n-o-s.
hehe.
God, I love this site.
Kristine · Mar 30, 04:43 PM · · Permalink